37% Rule
{{ pillBig }}{{ pillUnit }} {{ pillTag }}
The 37% Rule

Dating,
decided.

37%
spent learning, not deciding

Spend the first slice of your dating window learning your standards — then invest in the first standout who beats them.

Commit too early
before you know your standards
Search forever
after you found something good
01

Find your window

Casual dating 18–22 doesn’t count. Start the clock once you date with intent.

Serious since age
{{ startAge }}
Goal age
{{ goal }}
Build time
{{ build }}yr
Dates per year
{{ dpyStr }}/yr
Your age now
{{ cur }}
Already dated
{{ already }}
Partners in window
{{ totalExpected }}
{{ already }} dated + {{ futurePotential }} ahead
{{ statusLabel }}
calibrate on the first {{ sample }}, then invest
you: {{ already }} dated
CALIBRATE
INVEST
0 {{ sample }} partners {{ totalExpected }}
{{ sampleNote }}
{{ win }} yr window · ages {{ startAge }}–{{ winEnd }}
~{{ dpyStr }}/yr → calibrate to ~age {{ calAge }}
{{ already }}
{{ statusMsg }} ~{{ already }} of {{ sample }} calibration partners dated — about {{ sampleLeft }} to go.
What to do next
{{ solTitle }}
{{ solBody }}
{{ st.value }}
{{ st.label }}
A

Your criteria

Everyone weighs love differently. Start from the research, then tune what matters to you. Set any to 0 to drop it — weights normalize to 100%.

{{ w.label }}
{{ w.normPct }} of your score
{{ w.weight }}
Your points total {{ totalW }} — we normalize to 100% so the math always works, whatever you pick.
B

Your red flags

Non-negotiables that mean stop, whatever the score. Remove any, or add your own.

{{ f.label }}
02

Score the evidence

Drag each from 0–10. Weighted by your Criteria — the total updates live.

Fit score
{{ total }}/100
invest line sits at {{ floor }} — the marker above
{{ cat.weightStr }}
{{ cat.label }}
{{ cat.desc }}
{{ cat.value }}/10
No evidence yet? Cap that category at 7. Don’t score fantasy — score what you’ve actually seen.
03

Dealbreakers

Tap any this person trips. A dealbreaker means stop — it overrides the score. Edit the list in Criteria.

STOP {{ dbCount }} flagged. This isn’t a math problem — step back, regardless of the score.
04

Score behavior, not hope

“They’ll be consistent once life calms down.”
→ Have they been consistent so far?
“Bad at conflict, but they love me.”
→ Can we disagree & repair?
“Chemistry’s amazing, so values don’t matter.”
→ Chemistry is one category, not the score.

Score your roster

Your worksheet for everyone you date. Log each person’s score — your benchmark is the average of your top 3, plus 5 (never below {{ floor }}).

{{ b.total }}
Top-3 avg
{{ benchmark }}
→
Invest line
{{ investLine }}
No one logged yet. Score someone with the sliders above, then tap Log to start your roster.
05

The gate to invest

All five must be true. The top three update from your scores; tap the last two yourself.

{{ g.glyph }} {{ g.label }} {{ g.value }}
Your verdict
{{ verdict }}
{{ verdictSub }}
Window
{{ startAge }}–{{ winEnd }}
calibrate to ~{{ calAge }}
Fit score
{{ total }}/100
bar at {{ investLine }}
Copied to clipboard ✓
07

What “invest” means

Date one
fewer apps, less comparing
Clarify
exclusivity & goals, out loud
Share life
normal days, not just dates
Test fit
money, family, faith, future
Watch repair
repair beats never fighting
Build slowly
small steps, then larger
08

Tune to your real pace

Too many dates? Go deeper.
Cap first dates. Stop swiping when someone promising appears. Score before booking more.
Too few? Build the pipeline.
Grow exposure: intros, events, hobbies. Widen superficial filters — never safety, kindness or values.
Healthy pace? Calibrate, then commit.
First 37% to learn. Then invest in the first healthy standout who clears the bar.
Reality check · It’s a timing tool, not a guarantee. A short delay beats a long mistake — but never pass on a clearly healthy person just to obey the math.
Love is not a spreadsheet.
But a simple scorecard keeps you from forgetting your standards. Learn first. Choose intentionally. Invest when something healthy is real.
The background

Where the 37% rule comes from

It’s a classic puzzle in math called optimal stopping — often the “secretary problem.” You meet options one at a time, you can’t reliably go back to the ones you passed, and you don’t know who’s still ahead. So when do you stop looking and choose?

The math says: spend the first stretch only learning, then commit to the next option that beats everyone so far. That stretch works out to about 37%.

Why 37%?

Look without committing through the first 37% and use them as your benchmark. Then take the first person who beats it. That split gives the best odds — about a 1-in-3 chance of landing your actual best match, far better than guessing.

37% learn
63% choose the next best

37% is 1 ÷ e, a constant that drops out of the math. Stop much sooner and you haven’t learned enough; much later and you’ve passed too many good options.

Calibrate, then invest

1
Calibrate · first 37%
Date, score honestly, and learn your real standards. Make no permanent commitments yet.
2
Invest · after 37%
Commit to the first healthy standout who beats your benchmark and chooses you back.

Why score, not just remember

Memory is biased — the most recent or most charming person looms largest. A simple scorecard holds everyone to the same yardstick.

It’s also easy to over-weight looks, money, and status. Lasting happiness tracks character, commitment, shared values, and communication — so those carry the most weight here. You set the exact mix in Criteria.

Dealbreakers aren’t math

Some things shouldn’t be averaged away. Safety, honesty, and respect are filters, not points — one serious red flag means stop, no matter how high the rest of the score.

A timing tool, not a guarantee

Real life is softer than the math: people reconnect, both have to choose, and compatibility takes time to show. A genuinely healthy “top-5%” partner beats chasing a theoretical #1. Use the 37% mark to avoid committing before you know yourself — not as a rule that overrides a clearly good thing.